Moving countries

Some doors are closing, leaving people behind. It hurts to see a period of my life end so suddenly with  me being able to do nothing to control it. I never really know, I can’t be certain that I will see them again. I just hope that some time, they will be able to open the door that closed and that our paths will cross. “I wish”, “I hope”, it’s about uncertainty. I don’t want to put an end to all this just like that. Whatever it is, I know that I’ll have memories to hold onto. Memories, which are my own. And they are part of them. Only with strength will I be able to let go and look back without longing, but instead with a big smile on my face.

Not only that, but when one door closes, another one opens. And that’s what is happening to me now.   I leave Finland to go back to Spain. What will I find there? Who and what will I be? Will I change, and if so, how? Who are the people that will join my journey? What will happen to me? How will things be there? What will I learn? How will I feel? I don’t know and I am to figure that out. I’ll receive the answers to these questions as soon as I get there. Too quick. Everything is too quick. I wish things would be slower.

And so many emotions pile up inside me. Anger and frustration because I can’t control this situation. Sadness to leave things behind. Fear of the unknown and the stuff I’m not aware of yet that will be unknown. Excitement because of change. Appreciation of love and bonds. Not that many, right? When you feel them in high levels, it’s more than it really sounds like.

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