First impressions on leaving

As I write this, I’m on the plane heading to Spain. I should be there in around 2 hours. It’s easy to leave, right? I mean, you just take a flight and it takes you 5 hours to get there. Apart from all the packing and stuff, of course. But I find it weird how it literally takes that much time to leave something behind and for new things to come into your life.  It all happens too quickly. More quickly than my mind could possibly grasp it.

These days have been tough. I’m glad to say that I think they were the worst of this entire moving process and that they’re over.  First of all, saying goodbye (or see you in a while) to the people that became crucial to my life. Then, we have packing, which adds onto it. I thought it’d be easier than it actually was. But it wasn’t. As I packed, I found all sorts of things that gave me memories. Memories of people or even places that I was attached to, after 4 years. Also, when I saw all my furniture being packed by the Cargo people, it was just like they were taking a piece of me. When my house was left empty, so was I.

Hey, wait. I have something good to say about these days though. I haven’t cried when I had to say goodbye to the people that I loved the most. I left laughing happily and made the most of my time there. So I’m extremely happy about that. One of the best things I could’ve truly asked for.

Anyway, it seems to me like time is spinning faster than it should. It’s like; bang. It’s over. But nothing is over in my head. I still can’t believe that I’m not going to go to Finland for a long time. After giving this issue some thought, I came to a lot of conclusions.

-We can’t go against time. Life goes on.  We need to go with time. Unless we want a mental breakdown. And, well, I don’t necessarily want that. I’m a strong person and I accept that it’s completely normal to have felt the way I’ve been feeling this past week. I’m a human being after all. But then again, I don’t want to sink into depression or something. Hahaha! Life teaches us through experience and while it does that, it’s up to us whether we want to make the most of it and enjoy it or not. So now, I’ve decided to go with the flow and live in the moment. It’s summertime. I’m free and there are so many things I have in mind. So, let’s do them.

– Why feel bad about leaving certain people when they are the ones that would never want me to feel bad?  Not worth it. They want me and need me strong. I’ve realized that no matter how much people love me or care for me, they can’t make me stronger or help me because it’s all inside me. It’s me and my thoughts that will truly give me strength to move on. When I say thoughts, I especially mean thinking about these people, appreciating I have them, and thanking whoever is up there for that. I’ve been keeping this attitude for the past two-three days, and so with that, I’ve stopped crying and feeling so bad. In fact, I’m really happy to say I have a lot of worthy people in my life.  At the end of the day, I’ve always known I was a “people’s person” so using that to my advantage in terms of self-control, mood and attitude has helped me so much.  My love for people gives me happiness and strength so that’s great.

What else can I say? Oh yes, let’s look to the future. This is a challenge. Moving away was a challenge and so, moving back is one as well.  Some might argue that it isn’t that big of a challenge. But trust me. It is.  Age issues. I left when I was 11 and I’m coming back now, when I’m about to turn 15. The people I knew before were kids, now they’re in their teens. I have to admit I haven’t kept in touch with most of the people I used to call “friends” here.  And as bad as that sounds, I don’t regret not having done so; not even a little bit. Why? Because now they’re smoking, drinking, doing drugs, etc. Anyway, after the summer, I’ll be going to a different school so yes, I am moving back to the same city, same house, etc. But definitely I’ll get to know other people and my routine will change drastically. I have to admit it’s an interesting move full of opportunities. Still, I need to find those and take them. They won’t be given to me so easily. But I’m excited.

If you’ve managed to read up to here, that’s just incredible. I guess this was some sort of update on the moving process. As you can see, this post attempted to discuss what it really means to leave; physically and mentally. Also, I wanted to somewhat show how thinking, reflecting, and writing can help us develop attitudes and ideas and ease tough situations. It helps us look at it in an objective manner, evaluate situations and look at the bright side of things, which we often tend to ignore. Join me in my adventure and let’s encounter the mysteries and wonders of change together in time.

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One thought on “First impressions on leaving

  1. Pingback: Update -20.6.13 | The journey of my thoughts

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