Moving back scares and excites me at the same time. I’m in Spain now but I’m at my summer house not where I’ll end up living and going to school. Surely things are great here but I don’t know how they will be two cities away. I’m going to be visiting the place I’ll call home on Monday. They should show me around the school one day, and well then I have two other days when I will be completely free. What does that mean? I get to see my “friends” from 6th grade or whatever whom I haven’t spoken to in a while.
It’s not like I’m socially awkward or anything but the thought of this scares me. It’s like first impressions all over again. I feel sort of lost, in a way. I don’t know what to expect of people and I don’t know what they expect of me. I don’t really know the place very well or the customs. Yes, I know I’m technically Spanish but I haven’t lived in Spain for a very long time; I haven’t grown up here. I just don’t know things very well. And since I’m Spanish, coming here reminds me that there’s a part of me that I’m missing; my culture. That is how people interact with each other, their habits, their customs, their social behavior, their expectations, etc. It could even be the way they dress! I know that’s ridiculous. But we need to admit that the society we live in today is quite judgmental. That’s it. It’s fear of the unknown. But what is there to fear if I don’t know?
I think that this is just a part of the moving back process I have to deal with, face, adapt to and whatnot. I suppose that going there for a couple of days will make the whole moving back (when that fully happens in September) a little easier. It’s all a process of getting to know my culture and adapting my life to it to make the best of my life there. This is just the beginning. I need to keep the right attitude to get on with life and all the things it’s giving me.
So, after thinking about it, I realized that my summer can’t be filled with worries and fear, but instead, change, flexibility, strength, initiative, love, wisdom, creativity, and FUN. I mean, who doesn’t love a little fun?