I am going to try something new tonight. I say tonight because I don’t know where you live, but it is 1:23 am right now. Whoops! Make a wish. Don’t ask me what I am doing awake at the moment because I don’t really know myself.
My life is full of ups and downs lately. I hate that so much. Stability is where I find balance and happiness ad that is just how I want my life to be; stable. I want to be confident and take control of situations and do things honestly, which is how I thought things were going about two months ago. But now summer has started and it seems crazy how this time it is not having a positive effect on me, but a negative one.
My social life has its way of stressing me out at times. I am lazy, I don’t feel like doing anything. Boys suck. It sucks to love someone who doesn’t give two shits about you and it sucks to be loved by someone you don’t really like. You feel bad both ways. Yeah sure, love is about that. Someday you will fall in love with a person and the feeling will be mutual, but as of now, umm yeah; it isn’t. I also feel like I’m not dealing with problems in a good way. I don’t like my attitude towards things that happen to me and how I’m dealing with them.
It’s not like I overanalyse every single thing, because one cannot live that way. But now I’ve had the urge to do so because I’ve been in a shitty mood for a while now. This has to stop. I can’t get stuck because things aren’t working. I have to get up and make them work because no one else can do that for me. So now that you pretty much know the situation, I am going to try something out. I am going to disassociate completely from “being me” and I am going to give myself some advice. This has work, right? There cannot be a better person than myself to advice me.
1) As soon as you get up please check this from your phone. Good morning!
2) Happy wednesday. You felt like things are not working, now you go make them work
3) Play Unwritten on your speakers, close your eyes and listen. Give me one positive thought in the morning.
4) Do not check your social networks yet, sweetheart
5) Go to the bathroom, look at yourself in the mirror and compliment yourself. Give yourself the power to change
6) Have a healthy breakfast
7) Back to your room. Play some exercise music and do your workout.
8) Take a shower
9) You have started your day right. It should be almost time for lunch now. Go talk to your mum for a while and appreciate the fact that you have her. Help her out with anything she needs
10) After eating, write a positive thought on a piece of paper and try to remember the one you gave yourself in the morning. Check your social networks for 20 minutes if you like.
11) Chill, watch a movie or look at diy stuff and do what you wanted to do, but keep yourself busy. Paint your nails orange!
12) Keep in mind some principles:
– Be honest
-Enjoy people’s company
-Surround yourself with the ones that need you not the ones that don’t. Those can fuck off.
13) You may write if you want. It will make you feel a bit more powerful and worthy. It could be cool if you engaged yourself in a summer project, just to have some motivation. It could be a writing project or otherwise.
14) OKAY OKAY. GO OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS.
15) Reply to this post, will you? Tell me how today’s day went.
Let it be a new beginning.