Dear 2014 Elisa,
I need to start out by saying that I find writing this quite emotional. I’m getting goose bumps on my arms as I think of everything that I’m about to write. I love you to death and I want you to read this throughout this upcoming year just so you can sort of “keep in touch” with me- the 2013 Elisa.
First things first, let’s look back at this year. It’s been one of the best years of my life so far. The first half was full of thinking about my possible future, uncertainty, and oh god lots of thinking and writing. But most importantly, it was beautiful, I learnt to seize the present and love wholeheartedly. I have learnt the beauty and emotion of friendship. I made the memories I look back at now. Second half was interesting and beautiful too. I became stronger; watched my home turn into a stranger’s house, said goodbye. It was painful yet unforgettable. The pain and the strength were beautiful though, how I said goodbye to my best friends was the best way it could have possible been. Remember? “Alright, let’s not cry because I don’t want you to cry and you don’t want me to cry. Our goodbye needs to be as strong as our friendship, it has to speak for it”. None of us cried, thank you Kai. Oh god, how much I’ve learnt from people! Had it not been because of Kai and I would still be that little insecure girl I was in 7th grade. And Riti. We didn’t cry either. It was hard but worth it, I am tougher now. Perhaps the year I cried the most, but my favourite by far. Look at how it evolved. I quickly learnt that resistance was no good and I adapted because I had no other choice. “Dragging your feet only causes friction-thank you duckling”. Best decision I took, I don’t regret a single thing. I met amazing people, which I’m so happy I got to know. Oh, the beauty of attachments! My roots; my family and my culture. My people. Forgive me if I keep using the word ‘beautiful’, I should try to use synonyms, shouldn’t I? Hahaha! (lovely, marvellous, charming, and whatnot) Oh charming, I love that word; so magical. I can’t help but use the word ‘beautiful’ because this year was just beautiful! If you looked back, don’t you feel like it was like water? Very flowy (not inferring I swam with the stream at all). I adapted to the river channel, and that little bump in the middle had its purpose; it led to an ocean. What a beautiful year! Full of emotion, people, thoughts, and self-development. Don’t deny it girlie, you know yourself it was the best, don’t let go of the memories. Time to look at what you did right and wrong, don’t you think?
I can’t forget to tell you how you were and how you are after the change, because you have changed with the change. Aovubsoubcoau. ß red line! Word sees some spelling mistake I think. Well, in Finland you were determined, hard-working, intriguing, creative, deep, desirous of cultivating yourself, thoughtful, emotional, accomplished, sensible, human a little more closed and awkward so to speak, positive, full of initiative, expressive in your own way, full of life, worthy, more serious and a little proud. I wrote as much as I could because I never want you to forget how you were back then. Don’t forget that people had faith in you, they really did. Even teachers. “Strong persona” “Strong authoritative voice” “talented”. What now? This is on its way to being a new year’s resolution, not saying that I’ll tell you you were shit by the end of the year. Situation and circumstances are things you handled well, but it’s understandable I can’t see how I was before at the moment. You’re more stressed out but that also means lazier. How? – you might ask. When put under stress, we either “fight or flight” and you’re flying away, not fighting against it! What happened to that initiative? It was characterizing. You can’t lose it. You temporarily misplaced it; hear what I’m saying? You are still deep, sensible, emotional, hard working, determined, accomplished and all that. But this second half of the year you stopped doing something, which you found highly fulfilling, you left your blog aside. That’s very positive for you and I don’t know why you forgot about it. It made you think, express yourself, it made you proud, gave you confidence, it was great. Why get rid of something like that? I loved the values I had earlier, and I want you to have them back. You need to organize yourself and go back to your writing routine. I know it’s been both: a time issue as well as a laziness issue. Translation? You tell me smartass. Organize your time and write, it’s for your sake. You need to go down the right track. Also promise me you won’t lose your quirkiness. It’s not like you have lost it, you still have it and I love it but you’re risking it. Write, please write. On the bright side, you’re more open and more social capable. That was expected. A little happier? Maybe. I’d describe it as simply different though, in a good way. Your ideas have developed as you have developed, that’s good too. One more thing, be careful with your studies. You did a great job this trimester and I’m proud of that, 8.7 average (not your grades, but quite impressive considering it’s a new school and all) And you still stand out so yay! I also feel that this second half of the year made you use your brain way too much, perhaps the way to being happier lies in exercising so you can give your brain a rest and your body some work. But definitely go back to your blog.
I’m proud of how you handled this beautiful year and of what you’ve become. But hey, don’t we love making things better? List of goals? Sure thing, why not?
- No procrastination
- Get enough hours of sleep. Quit whatsapp. Try to go to bed at 10:30-11:00- it’s your health
- Talking about health, please eat more fruit and exercise more. Join a gym maybe? Wouldn’t that be great to recover your initiative?
- Average of a 9 for this second trimester. Holy we need to look long term. A year- three semesters! Keep it up, okay? All I ask is for improvement now, not numbers. Keep going higher, there’s no limit as to what you can do
- WRITE. GET BACK TO YOUR BLOG and exploit your creativity
- Focus on your personal project. Don’t leave it all for the last minute
- Balance time out, social life, school, yourself
- Keep loving and holding onto people. Bonds have proven to be important
- We’re going to keep working on the following virtues: helpfulness, kindness, benevolence, loyalty, thoughtfulness, empathy, determination, compassion, which are virtues you already possess. Don’t leave them behind.
- We’re going to introduce new principles to work on this year; enthusiasm, energy, (be real- I fear you’ll become fake),
- Learn how to alienate from stress. You’ll get further if you do. Maybe something on stress on your blog? What do you think?
- Make an effort to keep in touch with everyone you love
- Go into handicrafts and art, I think it will make you more dynamic
Looking back at the short resolution you did last year, some things have been accomplished; The Confidence Project was fruitful. Look at you now! You don’t even get that carried away anymore. How often do you actually cry? Once every two months or something! You’re good to go. This year looks promising, you just need to sort out your time, get things done and enjoy. Don’t hurt people in the way. It hurts to say goodbye to this BEAUTIFUL year but I can’t wait to see what you can make of this upcoming year.
The journey of my thoughts 