The Confidence Project (VII)

I was technically supposed to have finished this project 5 days ago, but… I had to pack for France and I am back from the trip now!  Anyway, the project is “over” but it really isn’t and will never be. I have to make sure I follow the things I’ve told you and myself on all of these posts. Plus I still have to polish my confidence if you know what I mean. Thanks to this project, I built some confidence up but it’s all over the place. Sometimes I lose it, sometimes I seem to find it. The good thing about it is that it’s there though. I think that pulling it altogether will take some time and that I can’t force myself to do so, it’s more of a thing that’ll happen as time goes by (a change that happens by itself) , but as of now, I’m quite happy. I accomplished something, independently once more.

Looking at it from a global perspective… there are several possible side effects and outcomes of this journey! You could be like me but you could also become overconfident or even arrogant. I’m still humble and down-to-Earth, and that is to me my way of being and how I want to be but then of course, everybody is different! Hopefully, you don’t become arrogant when all you want to be is more confident.

How can I end this project? I don’t know. All I can say is that it was and it is a process without a start nor an end.

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The Confidence Project (VII)

I was a little behind so I’m writing two and perhaps three posts on the same day! Yaaay! Hahaha! Okay, let’s get started. On this post, I want to talk about confidence and how overall happiness helps. I’m going to talk about types of happiness on one of my updates either today or tomorrow. But I guess that since I mentioned it, I should talk about it briefly. Well, I think that the best way to be confident and stay confident, is to be happy. How can we be happy? That’s a good question. It really depends on the person. Personally, I love balance, not necessarily organization, but balance. I try to give health, exercise, social activity, education, family, good actions, interests, and so on, time according to its importance. This is how I’m happy. So, that’s what I do. When I’m happy, I’m enjoying life, I love myself, and I’m not worried. Then, it is when I’m absolutely confident because I don’t need to be insecure, in order to meet certain expectations. Now I ask you, “What makes you happy?” Got it? Cool. Now be happy, forget about confidence, and you’ll be confident without even thinking about it. As stupid as it sounds. Try it out and you’ll understand.

This post is quite straightforward. But, what I’m basically trying to say is “Live and be happy, and you’ll see a change in your confidence”

Please read some of my posts on this project if you found this helpful. Give me feedback and join me in my journey. I have more posts coming up!

The Confidence Project (VI)

Alright, so I don’t know if I’ve talked about this but one of the key aspects to being more confident is to appear and act confident. It sounds very hypocritical, doesn’t it? However, now that we’ve learnt to love ourselves from the inside, we have to change our “external life”. At the beginning you might feel it’s a lot about acting but before anything, I’ll explain what I mean by acting confident because it might seem like I’m using the term loosely. What I mean is that we are sure about what we say or do, or at least appear to be even if we truly aren’t. We have to do things being sure of what we are doing and trusting ourselves. For me (a teenager), a big part of this applies to schoolwork and some social situations. For example, I used to find it quite challenging to work on something quickly and productively because I’d always be thinking, “Am I doing the right thing?” “Is this what my teacher wants?” “If I do this, will it be successful?” or I’d ask my friends to check all my schoolwork, give me their opinions, etc for pretty much every single assignment . Well, if you do the same thing, quit that just like I did. It isn’t helping. In fact, your work is going to be just as good or even better (which was my case) if you stop the insecurities and get on with it. I’d also find it difficult to present in front of people I know. I would always be wondering stuff like “Oh no! What are they going to think of me?” or “What if they make questions and I don’t know how to answer?”. To this, I say… you have to be confident. It’ll be a lot about acting and pretending at the beginning, but then, it’ll automatically become a part of you because you will inculcate this habit to yourself and also, appreciate or value yourself more for changing so radically. About social life? Well, sometimes we’re shy or too self-conscious! Speak your mind up. You only live once. YOLO. (I’m joking, I’m not like this) Be a little ignorant, don’t give a shit about people sometimes. It’ll help you. I’m not saying you should just forget and not mind their opinions at all. Some of them do take into account, some of them don’t. As you go through your journey, you’ll find out which ones you have to care about. If you’re not a teenager, I’m guessing you’d face this confidence problem when it comes to interacting with people at your office, presenting an issue, or just getting stuck with work. Again, it’s more of the same thing but in a different context. Confidence is a quality and it’s the same in everybody. This is why I believe this guide or thoughts or whatever this is applies to everybody in general.

I like summaries! Let me give you one on this post.

-Now that you’ve changed your inner self, it’s time to change your external figure
-Act confident until it becomes a part of you
-Think of the things you’re missing out by being insecure
-Trust yourself and pop that bubble that’s making you be so opaque!

There are some planned posts I’ve got left to write like happiness and its contribution to confidence, how this project helped me (a little reflection on it), and of course, the side effects! If you liked this post, please feel free to check out the other posts I wrote about this project. They might help you too. Please, comment on what you think about this project and if there’s any other requests you have. I would love to get some feedback! Have a good day, and see you soon. 🙂

The Confidence Project (V)

It’s almost been a month! But don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about this at all. I’m going to try organize my blog into different categories, so posts are more accessible. I know I should’ve probably done that earlier but I’m not very organized. Actually, I’m organized in my own way, as long as things are organize in my head, the rest doesn’t matter. Anyhow, this project is about to end. There’s a week or so left, so these days I’ll be writing more often. Today I want to talk about OBSTACLES. Yup, life is full of them. Some obstacles might include; people putting you down through your journey or you, completely losing yourself at certain points. Throughout my journey, I’ve been called insecure and I’ve been told I had to change in other aspects. The best way to deal with these things is to act confident and not give two fucks. Who cares about what they say? They don’t know the truth behind you. If they knew, I bet they would shut the fuck up. Bear with my swearing, I can’t stand it when people are selfish, tactless or ignorant. So, remember: only you know the truth. I understand this, probably, isn’t very helpful but I recommend you give yourself time if someone brings you down. Then you’ll realize what I’m talking about and that you’re worth a lot more than a couple of insensitive critics. Also, to the second point I made; losing yourself in this journey… Time is the key as well. What I’ll say now might not make any sense to you but we become more confident as time goes by. Time heals everything. Same thing happens with small obstacles, except for the fact that luckily since they are smaller than the actual journey, you’ll need less time to recover! Give it time. 
Now, I personally think that summaries kind of help recap and process information, so here are the points in short:
-Obstacles will come in the way, but you must be stronger than those obstacles and face them with confidence
-Time will help you recover from downfalls as well as become more confident. Time is one of the keys to this journey
My next posts ( I might write some today) will be about appearing confident, doing things with confidence, speaking in public, and happiness and its contribution to confidence. However, before that I want to sort out my blog posts and write a little update perhaps. I hope you enjoyed this blog post and that you found it helpful! Please, comment telling me what you think! That would absolutely make my day, and if you followed thejourneyofmythoughts… well that would make my year! It’s great to know that there are people reading this behind a screen. So, please please please give me your opinion! This one is very much appreciated 🙂 

The Confidence Project (IV)

I should’ve written some time ago now, shouldn’t I? It’s been a week without mentioning the whole confidence project. To be honest, this project is really helping me. In fact, I consider myself rather confident now. Anyway, since this is my journey, there are some things I’ve noticed and that I want to briefly mention. Alright, I caught myself looking in the mirror and disgusted at this pimple, wanting to pop it, and wondering if it looked too bad. And then, I’m just like… What the hell are you doing? Mirrors are there to make you feel better about yourself (like I said in the first post) not to make you feel uncomfortable and insecure about a stupid pimple. So, even if I cared about that pimple, I told myself not to care. Who cares about what others are gonna think about your pimple? Hahaha! Hmmm, apart from that, I caught myself apologizing for the lamest things or saying that I did something really bad, when I was playing volleyball. But I just realized that isn’t going to get me anywhere, and even if it’s about teamwork… it takes time for one to develop their personal skills and just like others respect that, I should respect that when it comes to myself. Also there are some obstacles which got in the way but I’ll be talking about that in my next post. 

Now, I had planned to talk about “your relationship with yourself”. (I don’t know how to put it better) Get in your room by yourself and do nothing. Are you comfortable? If you feel this sort of “relief” that means that you aren’t so confident when it comes to socializing or things that involve people perhaps. If you feel uncomfortable, then… you are very insecure. But that’s ok. I used to feel like that, now I enjoy being with myself. There’s no sense of relief really because I’m myself at all times. My advice to gain this is to focus on all the other points I’ve talked about previously and boost your confidence! It’s a journey and all the things I’ve mentioned are extremely related. As weird as this might sound, a great way to improve your confidence is to get time for yourself. First comes your inner self, then your public figure. Never the other way around. So, here’s one of the things I did which I found helpful. Of the top of your head, what is something that you’re good at and something that you suck at? Cool. You got it. Now, go do something related to that. See the difference between the two products. Your talent will really shine that moment. But, look at what you apparently suck at: It isn’t that bad. At least, you did something. It came from your hard work and a lot of virtues or principles as I like to call them were put in there. Reflect upon this process and do this in a positive way. Overall, it’s important that you get time for yourself, find “inner peace” and gain self-confidence, security and trust before you can change your public figure. Try meditating even! I have never done it personally, but it works for a lot of people. So try it! 

I’ve written four posts about this, and it’s not like I have them planned. I just reflect on what happens to me and try to draw bigger conclusions, that will relate to all of you readers. My next one will be about others and the pressure they might put on you. You’ll see what I mean. Fighting obstacles, people! Please, join my journey and my projects. If you’ve found this post and managed to read until here, to me that’s a miracle. So if that’s the case, I would appreciate it and it would make my day, week or even month if you left a comment. 🙂 Have a good day everyone!

The Confidence Project (III)

Alrightyy! So, what’s one more way to boost that confidence? What are you good at? What talents do you have? It might be that you play an instrument, that you’re an artist and you draw really well… But, that’s not what I mean. (and if you have those talents, then great! They’re still talents 🙂 ) Here, wait. Let me put it this way though. I don’t climb mountains or create music. I can’t predict the weather. I’m not a great actress. I don’t always match clothes up the right way. I’m not a professional basketball player. However, I have other talents, which others might not value as much but for me, they are MY talents. I’m not Shakespeare but I write. I am able to put my thoughts and potentially myself through words, and I enjoy doing it.  Also, I’m really charismatic. I’m not going to be like “no ego intended” or apologize for saying that cause this is what it’s all about; thinking highly of ourselves. And I’m charismatic. I understand people, try to see their good side, people like me and I know how to deal with people. In a way, I guess talents can be anything, any positive trait about yourself. Funny thing is that my talents are the things I describe on my gravatar profile; people and words; my passions. 

Anyway, apart from only talking about my own concerns on insecurity I thought I’d try seeing things from a different perspective. Many teenage girls are insecure of their looks. This personally doesn’t apply to me that much, I think. Sure, my legs aren’t as skinny as I’d like them to be. I have some pimples so I cover them up with concealer. Nevertheless, my life doesn’t revolve around looks and what I wear. Although, if this is your case… I think I can still help you. If you love yourself, you shouldn’t really care about what others think about you. They should love you for who you truly are. Okay. What’s the worst they can do? Gossip? Come on. A couple extra kilos aren’t going to kill you and about your looks, you can change anything. Yeah, as I told you before I don’t like my legs that much but I exercise to make them better. I change the things I don’t want and if I can’t do that, I change my attitude towards those things. 

Soo budddaay. Today’s lesson: 

-Take notice of your talents, appreciate them and use them

– Looks don’t matter. “Change things if they bother you, and if you can’t change them, change your attitude towards them”

Thanks for the read and for following my project! Make sure to leave a comment below and tell me what you think of this project and how I’m doing and if there’s anything else you’d like me to discuss. My next post will be about being comfortable with yourself, getting time for yourself, see what you aren’t so good at, perhaps meditation…  Follow my blog! We can do this together 🙂

The Confidence project (II)

This is my second entry on how to become more confident! It’s important that you read the first one before reading this one. I’m really sorry for not having posted this yesterday as I said I would. Oh well, the point is that it’s here now.

As I briefly mentioned, the next step is trusting yourself. Actually, I wouldn’t call it the next step cause all these things just come all at once 😀 You might be wondering… trusting yourself? Uhh… what? Ok, I’ll try to keep the explanation short. You know, how they say that trust is a very important element to a relationship, to love, etc? Exactly. Confidence is a lot about loving ourselves, and for that, we must trust ourselves. Now, what do I mean by that? I mean that you trust yourself to do things ‘right’ or to be strong enough so you can stand up by yourself if you fall. How do you start this? Easy peasy. Make yourself trustworthy. The promises you keep to yourself are just as important as the ones you keep to others. If you say you’ll wake up at 8 on Saturday and catch up on some work you left behind, YOU MUST DO IT. Promises to yourself are extremely important and from now on, you will keep them. This is the only way for you to start believing in yourself. It all starts with little promises and as time goes on, these start getting bigger and more significant. For example, today it’s about being healthier and eating an apple a day (Ok that was just an example- a very lame one-) but tomorrow you promise yourself you’ll do well on some task you’ve been assigned, or you promise yourself, you’ll get out of your comfort zone and take one step further. So, start making those promises to increase trust, and thus, confidence.

Something else you have to watch out! This one potentially works and I’m speaking from experience here. Act confident and you’ll be confident. Seriously. Public and private image are highly linked and if you act confident, you’ll like the feeling of it and you’ll be proud that you can do so! So, you’ll increase your self-esteem and your confidence ultimately.

To sum up once more…

1) Start trusting yourself by making promises to yourself and keeping them
2) Act confident.

My next posts will be based on talents and another point of view on this I’ve never explored myself which concerns teenage girls like me (about looks)! Give me a follow if you’re interested and contact me if you have any questions or something 🙂 Comment below! I love comments aougnboiaenkdp.